Personal Standards

New begin

dalibor — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 05:16:13 +0000

This post is officialy last. As I stated in about page of this blog this is experimental site till end of 9.2009. However, I will on 5.10.2009. edit this post and add link to a new and radicaly different blog as result of this experiment. Till then.

Dalibor

My new blog is Happiness now

A bit more about envy

dalibor — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:00:39 +0000

If you read previous post where I talk about envy, you may get impression that I’m against any thinking about other people.

It’s totally opposite. Other people has different path in life than you, so they received different influences and create different wisdom than you. Other people are valuable source of information how to improve your life.

However, many people when look to other people activate just one biased feeling, they tend to think either all people are better then them or they are better then all other people. Most of a time neither is true.

Today mass media create one dangerous feeling in people. We think we know people we didn’t ever see, just because we are seen picture of them, products they produce and some carefully crafted half facts about them. After some time, we start to believe in that there are may people that are just better.

And to conclude different just think about scandals, suicides and stuff like that. Look for most notorious examples like Amy Winterhouse, Britney Spears. Do you really think that deep inside they are happy persons? And they have all money and fame you can imagine. Do you really think just because there is no new scandal about your favorite star that he or she is necessary feel happy and fulfill with life?

If you reserve your feelings only to people that you know in person you will rarely have any chance to feel envy, because every person has some good and bad side, some problem and some solution.

Use good solutions, and help when you can do it productively with problem is receipt for happy life.

OK I’m lousy chess player

dalibor — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 22:00:48 +0000

When I was kid I play chess as rest of my family except mom (father was even President of Croatian Chess Association), and I was pretty pathetic. My biggest problem was that when I was playing I play my strategy without even thinking what my opponent will do, what was his strategy. Result was almost always defeat.

Although this was obviously bad habit for chess it was great habit for life. I almost never compare myself with other people and envy is not my style. I’m aware thank you for asking that Bill Gates has whole lot more money than I on intellectual level, but I don’t have any emotions about this fact.

Every day I see many people that has more of some quality that me. But every of people I seen that are better in some quality then me during his or hers day seen many people that has some quality better than he or she.

Even President of America don’t play basketball like Magic Johnson, and Magic Johnson don’t play golf like Tiger Woods. So I decided I will be better than all world, I will not envy anybody and I will live my life by my standards. Very ambitious goal, I admit. Also worth of achieving.

You can do it to.

Dealing with feelings or how to deactivate bomb

dalibor — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:01:30 +0000

If you now think about one guy that do some stuff around some very complicated device, police patrols and barricades… this is not that kind of article.

I talk about yours inside bombs. You know situation. Some gay or girl talk harsh to you then came some innocent guy and you talk harsh to them because of previous guy. That guy was an innocent victim of your internal bomb and this article talk about bombs deactivation.

Important to know is that such bomb has two levels:

Physical, some of your muscles are tighten, and consequently blood flow is bad. If this happen to many muscles in your body, also they can be all other stress symptoms but muscles tension is most important,
Emotional level, because of bomb you have many negative emotions and they are easy triggered to explosion by relatively insignificant incidents.

Previous paragraphs give us reason why bomb must be deactivated:

It can hurt other people randomly with terrible effects on our relationships and social life. It hurts us mostly because of physical and emotional damage that bomb creates.

So how to deactivate bomb:

First you must deal with physical part because it can be change relatively quick an easy:

Find some quiet place to do some muscle stretching even if this means go to toilette ,
First stretch all muscle by moving hands up, and up, and up until you stand only on a front part of your feet (if you are really overweight avoid feet part, but do as much as possible to stretch yourself),
If after this you feel tension in some part of body do anything that you think is appropriate to lose tension of this part (for example some slow and fluid movements),
Repeat steps 2 and 3 until you are sure that there is no tension in body.

All this typically will not take more than two or three minutes and you will feel much better after that. Try to breed slowly next five minutes and bomb will be deactivated.

Sometimes bomb is two strong and it’s not deactivated by this procedure. However after this procedure, almost always, it will be weaker and consequences of bomb also.

Short course to meditation

dalibor — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 22:01:42 +0000

Step1:

I really hate mystification and overcomplicating simple stuff. For example meditation has 3 simple components:

Stillness,
Focus,
Slow and deep breading.

Let’s do it in easy way. Think for a moment. Do you know any situation with two of three components of meditation? What you think about right now:

Stillness – you are probably now pretty still without much movement,
Focus – you are hopefully focused on what you read,

And now:

Breading – let’s change way you bread a little. Do slow bread out as much as you can, then slow bread in as much as you can. Repeat.

Hey presto, you meditate about post how easy is to meditate.

Step 2:

After a while you will routinely start to do meditations during reading and then just remove reading. Sit somewhere comfortably looking into some object, focus and breathe for some 10 minutes.

Step 3:

After you are comfortable with step 2, when meditate remove gently any thoughts that appear. Just don’t follow them, let them fade away.
Now you meditate like a pro.

How to renew passion again, and again, and again

dalibor — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 18:33:27 +0000

One myth that I really love in self help books is: you must find your passion and every day will be fun your passion will flourish and you will be happy. To me it’s like a fairy tale end: “And they live happily ever after.”

OK there are plenty people that achieved this but even more there are failures. Human brain is not build for a long passion because long passion is evolutionary bad thing. As I said in one comment on some blog if you are in mortal danger every day then project that will pay of next month is not worth of time. Because we are not in mortal danger every day just few thousands year ago, this hard wired thing in our brain is not changed. We are created to adapt and passion is not adaptable.

How then we can achieve long term passion? By long string of short term passion. Make every day time to think of your passion, your goals and why you think they are worth.

Teenage recipe for passion

Teenager personal world is his room. So how you will now, what is his passion. Look at his room. If his kayaking medal on prominent place in room. Yeah he love kayaking. Does this ugly skating shoes are always at some visible place in room no matter how many time you said it put them into box. Yes she probably love skating.

Personal standard for passionate life

Find stuff that activate your passion,

If for example you are passionate about feeding hunger people in the world, find some statistic about number of hungry man in the world an put that number on your desktop. Find some books about topic and put one on a coffee table in your living room, somewhere in your bedroom… Find some creative ways to put your passion in focus wherever you look.

Schedule some time for think of your passion. First 10 minutes in the morning, last 10 minutes before sleep, on your lunch break… does not matter as long as you do as regularly as possible. Always create some some small task that you can done tomorrow. Task must be really small about 10 minutes of time, just to make you moving. Example for me will be something like (reading little about marketing blog content, writing some ideas about my flagship product, finding some interesting article to comment…)
Be sure to do scheduled task. Reason that I tell you to take small task is just to eliminate any chance to excuse that you don’t have time, energy, willpower… Be sure to do it.
You can do anything other related to your passion task and of course more is better but be sure that you always have and do some passion tasks. It’s good for your soul.

How to change your life

dalibor — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 20:27:32 +0000

It’s very fascinating how this civilization forgets synthesis. We all time do analysis and almost every scientific work that is written is analysis of something. However, almost all progress, almost all inventions are synthesis of something. If you really want to make progress in any part of your life you need aha moment which is just one big synthesis of your knowledge in some area.

So how to achieve knowledge synthesis? Order one from your brain:

This work best before going to bed. Do all thing that you do before going to bed.

Take some book(video, magazine or anything) connected with desired area.

Read book at least hour before your usual bed time, and next half our when your usual bed time is passed. Read it on the chair not in bed, from computer screen or some book on paper doesn’t matter. Read it focused.

Before go to bed do one simple routine.

Stand up and decide side for example left is your previous life till this moment: unfocused without using all knowledge in desired area, and right is your new life focused with using all knowledge in desired area (be sure that you mentioned which is area).

After that just look on the side of new life and think moment or two about them.

Then just go to sleep your brain will do rest of trick. It’s good sing if you can’t sleep because of thoughts in your head but it’s not necessary.

Next day don’t be disappointed if you not produce some great new invention, you will be much more focused on desired area. Just try to keep that focus and result will follow.

You can repeat process few nights in a row to create really great focus.

How to start planning in your life

dalibor — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 20:11:01 +0000

OK you decide to start planning (promising as I like to call it, see previous post) in your life. How to start?

Most of time you will hear advice like:

Determine your life purpose, and then,
Make global plan what you want to achieve in your life, and after that,
Make 5 year plan, 1 year plan, 3 month plan… and so on.

However, if you are person with strong life purpose than this is procedure that you figure by yourself like any other of people that give that advice.

Obviously then if you don’t have idea about life purpose you must start finding one, but then you don’t have time for that because your lack of purpose grow out in situation that you must change something in your life just to make him bearable.

So, how to start planning in your life?
With small steps, not by life resolutions.

Get on paper what you plan to do in next 2 hour. Try it few times. Then go few times for a day, then week. An after that you will have some experience in planning and ability to make useful plan. During this you will get idea what is your biggest time-wasters so you can start to remove them from your life.

Now you will have enough time to do proper thinking about your life purpose.

Essential of good planning

dalibor — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 16:56:44 +0000

Yes you know: When you plan something you must be flexible because thing are changing and we must adjust our planning accordingly.

Is it just like that? I’m sure it’s not because I have one little trick that make me possible to stick with my plans, and avoid rationalizations why something can’t be done.

What is trick?

It’s very simple. I don’t make plans I make promises.
Why:

When you promise yourself you will do much more thinking about what you promise than you do when you make plans,

When you promise yourself or someone important then you are more willing to do what you promise and don’t disappoint yourself or someone else,

Because you know that if you don’t do what’s promised you must do some equivalent or more valuable, what’s point in procrastination,

If you really can’t do you will try to do something equivalent, and finding that can be really fun.

Because this work, in almost all articles how to change habit you will find that you must make your habit change public knowledge, with clear idea that we don’t like to make people disappointed because we don’t stick with the promise.

But be careful when people promise they tend to be conservative about what they promise. Make your promises challenging.

Personal standard for planing

Instead making to do list, or plan make promise to yourself.
Instead titles like “To do tomorrow” make titles like “I promise to do tomorrow”.
Instead titles like “plan for today” make titles like “I promise for today”.

Works miraculously. I promise.

Power of positive thinking

dalibor — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 17:59:12 +0000

“I’m Jack. I have forty and I will be a astronaut. “ – He said.
“Welcome Jack.” – Rest of group.

If ever would be group of positive thinker anonymous then it will look something like this.

Today it’s modern to believe that every people can achieve anything if he believes strong enough. So what man does? He imagine most wildest of his wishes, most childish of his dream and think that if he day dream about it all days somehow miraculously by power of secret something will happen and he will be astronaut.

And yes, there are plenty evidence of people that achieved wildest dreams, but it’s much more evidence, and you don’t need to read any book to see it, of people that failed.

So what’s the secret that make positive thinking work? Hint: “It’s not universe.”

You are secret, more precise your hard work and good planning (or as I like to call it promising yourself).

None dream that is really worth achieving will be done just by daydreaming. Even famous Martin Luther Jr. speech: “I have a dream.” is culmination of all his work, and it was successful because it was listened by thousands of people, gathered there because of all his previous work. Imagine Luther that out of blue makes his speech in famous Hyde Park in Great Britain, surrounded by fifty people. Effect would not be nearly same.

So to achieve your dream you must:

Have good dream that you really love,
Plan how to achieve it,
Make this plan as promise to yourself,
Hard work to achieve your dream.

Now when you have all this positive thinking will make real difference, because no man is immune of self doubt and excuses like: “I’m tired today.”

Just make this excuses and self doubt go away by replacing them with positive thoughts and every time you do this you are one small step near to your dream.